discover your created self


I intended to post these reflections last February 2022…apparently I never followed through.

Intentions are these things that hold me in place. Inner desires are these things that prompt me to pursue something that matters; inclinations that matter to me and possibly to others. I find that when my intentions are at odds with my inner desires I feel disjointed, restless, awkward…not at ease with myself or my surroundings. It feels hard to explain or put into words, but I feel an emptiness that can’t be filled, while at the same time I know in my deepest being that I am fulfilled and my desires are often met by my intentions.

When we travel in our boat, by necessity we walk to stores, restaurants, etc. After being immersed in a walking lifestyle last summer in Alaska, I came home wanting to see if I could walk to places I normally drive to in our neighborhood. Pure convenience of having a vehicle has kept me from this intention.

Today, I acted on my intention. I gathered some packages that needed to be mailed. I checked the map app, and it said the post office was 2.4 miles away and would take 53 minutes to walk there.

Two obstacles presented themselves immediately, the distance and the time to get there, which would be doubled in order to return home. The distance doesn’t bother me, I enjoy long walks. The time factor takes more to overcome because doing things quickly has driven my life for so long. Hurry up! Don’t be late! Don’t waste time or dawdle! You don’t have much time! I refute these “time bullies” by saying to myself…Yes, you do have time! What would you be doing if you “saved” time? Probably watching TV. What if I weren’t in a hurry?

So, I listened to myself, and set out for the post office, with the encouragement of also spending some time at a nearby coffee shop after I mailed the packages.

Surburbia was not designed for pedestrians. Not a revelatory insight, but one that I experienced first hand today. While I did have sidewalks most of the way, I did have to walk out of my way to get to safe crosswalks. Thankfully, there were crossing signals to navigate under the major highway that intersects our neighborhood. At the post office intersection which is directly diagonal from the coffee place, I couldn’t cross safely. I had to walk almost a 1/4 mile to get to the next crossing signal. At first I was frustrated, but then told myself that I just got more mileage in, which from an exercise point of view was good. I rewarded myself with a pumpkin muffin to enjoy with my medium latte.

The coffee shop is in the basement of a church. It’s simple, open and serves flavored coffees, teas and homemade baked goods. I enjoyed the ambience, and had a relaxing break for an hour or so before I headed back home. On the way to my destination the wind blustered in my face, on the way back the wind carried me home. I stopped occasionally for a sip of water or to pick up a stick or snap a photo with my phone. I was away from home from about 8am-12pm. Four hours to mail a package, ramble around the neighborhood, enjoy a coffee break and fuel my need to move.

My day started with a text from a friend, who asked this question: What creative joy will come into your life today? I think her question sparked my desire to act on my intention to walk to more places. Consequently my intention merged with my inner desire, and I met Creative Joy along the way.

So now I ask you, “What creative joy will come into your life today?”

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
(Psalm 51:12 NKJV)

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About Me

Hi! My name is Kel Rohlf. I am an intuitive mixed-media artist, creative writer and performer. Life is a performance. I often attend.


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