discover your created self

Ravel: To Become Entangled or Confused {Random Journal Day}

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw offer everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us . . . (Hebrews 12:1 NIV)

This morning as I went to pull out a random journal, I intentionally found the one from the beginning of the year. I was on a quest to unravel my motive for my “One Word” that I chose eight months ago. My word is . . .

I wanted to choose “want,” but it seemed too grabby and selfish. So, I went with desire, which rolls off the tongue with ease and grandeur. Where has this one word taken me this year? Back to the heart of God over and over again. Why? Because my desires and His desires are not always in sync. I become confused and easily entangled by the desires clawing at me through every medium possible. My phone, the internet, magazines, TV shows and movies, songs on the radio. Books piled around my house beckoning me to read them. So many distractions and choices. 

Some of the choices and distractions are benign, and even good like spending time with friends. However to stay focused on the “race marked out for me,” I often have to say no to good things.

My work is to write words. God has made that clear to me several times. And I want to live a writing life. I love journals and discovery collage and sketching because all of these activities feed my created soul and fuel my writing endeavors.

My desire for writing words is to encourage others to discover their created self. To offer words to feed your soul and dare you to embark on your path and persevere in your race. 

May God unravel those places in your soul that need to breathe, to be expressed and to be scribed or scribbled down on some piece of paper. Your journaling technique is yours alone. I am just sharing mine so you can see that it is possible to explore, enjoy and embrace your created self!

For a treat to myself, I created a journal collaged with magazine pictures and white space for writing and sketching. This journal began during Advent 2012 and goes through the month of January 2013.

This entry was a 5 Minute Quick Write response to the doodling on the top of the page, which I titled, “raveled.” 

raveled instead of unraveled, tightly woven around a central image–a story inside a book, stacked on top of another book, unearthed treasure, waiting potential
knowledge tied up in packages unopened
I prefer raveled–untouched, kept together–if I read will I get tangled or untangled or mired into deeper questions of quest and conquest?
untouched emotions– a place to write freely of how I feel, of how untapped potential lies latent unafraid yet fearful of emerging or plunging or expunging or accusing or bruising my egotistical soul life–life untouched, unwanted, desired and unwanted at the same time
will I be too rough and uncomfortable
will I cause embarrassment or shame
unashamed  unfettered  unbelievable
the piles of unread, unheard, unseen aspects of my life hidden below sub par standard
guilt, risk, freedom–tight, constricted, raveled, woven
no thread to pull to wreck the image– a wrecked image, a ruined reputation-who the hell cares? I care. you care. he cares. she cares. we all care–but I want to live a carefree life!

A journal is a safe place to vent, a real place to reach into uncensored parts of ourselves. It is vulnerable to share these musings here, but I hope this glimpse into my raveled self, unravels in you a desire to find your own safe place to write and express what is inside you. Journaling, for me is a form of prayer, a dialogue between my created self and our Creator God.

What draws you to journaling?

9 responses to “Ravel: To Become Entangled or Confused {Random Journal Day}”

  1. You have a good analysis of what we do when we blog and when we interact with others. I like what you said when you wrote of untouched emotions.

  2. Oh, I love this my friend- – thank you for sharing so well, the many possibilities for journaling. I love to collage and save snippets along the way. And isn't it wonderful letting those words unravel themselves, fall out and be freed? Love!

  3. Hi Dawn,I sent you an email, with thanks, for your gracious book review on my journaling book. So THANK YOU! For some reason, I never made the connection between this random journal day and you! Wow! Beautiful website you have, and how fascinating also to read about your fitness adventure. Don't you love how Kel writes about journaling? It's obviously one of her passions, too.May God continue to bless you every time to pick up your pen to write a love letter to Him!Blessings,Lynn

  4. Kel, I love this post, because it exudes your passion, creativity, insight, and lovely words and art! Wow, a win-win. I find your random entry most serendipitous, because yesterday (without knowing anything about the Random Journal Day–which BTW, I LOVE!), I RANDOMLY opened an old art journal and was captivated by magazine images I'd cut, torn, and pasted, and the words I'd written around them. Would there be any way to post it here, with your permission, and also if Sheridan could photograph it? No big deal if not, but I just thought it would be easier to see than to visualize. ANYWAY, when you wrote about raveled and unraveled, I'll admit that I have NEVER considered that there is a word, "ravel." Well, duh! If something becomes unraveled, it must have been raveled in the first place, but I'd never thought about it. And generally, I guess, unravel has had a negative connotation for me–like I'm coming unraveled. I'm coming unglued! …. that kind of thing. Actually, as you use it, unraveling is a good thing…..untangling. When your blessing for us is for God to unravel places that need to breathe, I immediately thought of the two pages in my art-collage journal, which are starkly juxtaposed.

  5. (CONT.)I had seen a magazine ad with a perfect pale-pink rosebud (tightly formed–as yet unfolding), and this was so, because it was bound with some kind of metal band. It seemd to me that the rose, while lovely and perfect, was not being permitted to do what it did best–to unfold (unravel, if you will) to release the full orb of its petalled beauty and the full depth of its pungent fragrance. And when I saw that rose, I realized how tightly "banded" my life had often been (especially during childhood)… tightly restricted with tons of hours of homework (in the gifted program for several years), honors classes in highschool, high expectations for good grades and to be a perfectly good girl. While none of these restrictions was meant as harmful (and certainly my parents championed my gifts and creativity and were extremely loving), I had been raveled tightfly, nonetheless. So across my rose, I wrote "Who made the rule?…God or man or me? (because I realize that I have through many years also self-imposed many rules and expectations for perfection. And that is a tightening trap on one's creativity and ability to BREATHE…..AND TO HAVE FUN AND TO LIVE LIGHTLY!) Around the rosebud, I wrote these words: closed, narrow, restricted, judgmental, dying, rigid, controlled, appearances, expectations, gifted program, tight, man-made traditions, preconceived, pharisaical, perfectionistic, overly serious, arrogant. On the opposite page, instead of perfectly cutting out the image as I had the rosebud, I tore out a bouquet of fuchsia, raspberry, and pink peonies in plush, full bloom. Beneath these I pasted the words that I had pulled from a magazine: Be yourself. It's a very tought act to follow. And then I tore out and glued in the word Supple. Around these images, I handwrote gracious, teachable, loving, thoughtful, blooming, open, creative, living, playful, joyful, imaginative. I realized after reading your post that these contrasting concepts of raveling and unraveling were portrayed in my collages. One one side is a raveled, prim, perfectionistic (this can translate into judging others because they are not perfect), arrogant, rule-following person. I have also been on a journey in wanting to know truth for myself, and not just accepting something as Gospel truth because a respected Bible teacher teaches it. So….I have automatically accepted some things as inerrant (say, for example about election or End Times) simply because this is the tradition I have been taught. I have not tested its truth. I hope I am making sense. So….as God has begun to unravel me (which you have helped me to see today is not necessarily negative at all), I can be freer to live a supple life (moldable clay in the Potter's hands), and a more playful life. Being teachable, playful, and creative will cause me to bloom….and open my petals in profusion and to release Christ's fragrance "shed abroad" in many hearts. I need to be the creative self He has created me to be. It doesn't mean that I don't strive for excellence and that I don't perfect my craft, in that sense. I do believe that God has also given me an ability to grasp (as an example) grammatical rules and writing structure very easily, etc. I want to produce something that is worthy of HIm and my calling to write. But all that said, I need to let go PERFECTIONISM…….I need to let God UNRAVEL me and set me free. Also, as I seek to know truth, I realize that I need to come to God's Word as a clean slate (without all the man-made traditions which I have been so carefully taught), and let His Holy Spirit teach me directly. This is far more than I had intended to write, Kel, and far more than you have time or inclination to read, I'm sure! I can only blame it on you and your exceptional insights! =] So there! Thanks, dearest one, for putting up with me!!!LoveLynni

  6. Kel,I had meant to ask you about your emphasis on "created" (rather than "creative") soul?Thanks,Lynni

  7. it is one of my faults that I avoid writing about my emotions, but when I write through them God heals and brings me to a better place…I am thankful that God gave us the idea to write down His words and to dialogue with Him through words…I am thankful that I am able to form words in many ways…

  8. Dawn- I was so encouraged by your post this month at RJD and also for those who linked up and encouraged faith and trust as we were vulnerable with out journals. Lynni- So glad you can connect with Dawn here…and other kindred spirits!

  9. Part of my journey with developing SoulDare was to come up with a tagline that caught people's attention…it is common enough to encourage others to "discover their creative self" but I felt the Spirit nudge me to use the word "created" as a nod to our Creator…He has been showing me that we were created by him in eternity but in temporal living we are also "created" by our experiences and choices…something I talk about in the collage workshops…

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About Me

Hi! My name is Kel Rohlf. I am an intuitive mixed-media artist, creative writer and performer. Life is a performance. I often attend.


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